"Do what you can, with what you've got, where you are" -Bill Widener

 The opening quote this week is almost always attributed to Theodore Roosevelt (I've done it myself in the past).  But in his autobiography, Roosevelt attributes the quote to Bill Widener.  The words encapsulate perfectly where my head has been for the past couple of weeks.  I've been focusing on trying to figure out how I can work toward the goals I've started setting for my service and what I need to do in order to feel like I am being of service.  I continue to struggle with the lack of autonomy, but shifting my mind to focus on what I can do rather than what I cannot has been very helpful.  An example from this week to illustrate...

A couple weeks ago, I ended the week exhausted with myself and how I was responding to the children's behaviors.  I was particularly tired of how often I was yelling at the students--I hate it, I really do.  It's exhausting to do and frankly, it doesn't make any difference.  So why the hell did I keep yelling at them?  Part of it was probably because that was what was being modeled for me and the other part was that classroom management at the elementary level is definitely lacking in my teaching toolkit (ironically, I'd point to classroom management as one of my strengths in a college classroom).  So I spent some time researching elementary classroom management approaches/strategies/techniques and started last week committed to not yelling at them.  (Full disclosure: I did yell at students this past week when two of them were touching the private parts of other students.)  All the things I tried were things that the students don't currently do, so I wasn't sure how successful I'd be getting buy-in--but I also figured that I had nothing to lose.  I started my lesson with a transition activity to get them focused for learning.  I created an interactive, and engaging lesson that got all students involved.  I was explicit--I told students that if they were raising their hand to answer, they needed to have their hand up and their bum-bum down.  (Students jump up and shout "Miss, Miss, Miss" and you can't hear anything when they do that).  Admittedly, I knew that "bum-bum" would grab them--it's one of the MANY words St. Lucians have for the tuchus.  Students always pay attention when I know something Creole or St. Lucian.  😉  Perhaps most importantly, I did not call on the students when they jumped up and shouted.  And when a student was disappointed that I didn't call on them, I asked them if they knew why I hadn't called on them.  And they always knew why.  I also told them that I wasn't going to yell in order for them to hear me, so they needed to pay attention to me when it was my turn to talk.  It felt so good to have this small victory this week.  

Yesterday, PCV Alexis and I made the journey to the Peace Corps office on the other side of the island.  We treated ourselves to lunch at a cafe--I had a salad and it was so amazing (I haven't had lettuce in quite some time). We also took advantage of the opportunity to visit a "gourmet" grocery store that other folks had told Alexis about.  What it really should be described as is the tourist grocery store; but it was pretty amazing to see all the foods from home that you can't find anywhere else.  Salsa!  Gluten-free macaroni and cheese!  Cheese that wasn't cheddar!  Dill pickles!  Eggplants!  Dijon mustard!  Sesame oil!  Honestly, I couldn't believe how excited I was.  But that excitement was quickly squelched when I took in all the prices--you can see the price on the meat and the GF loaf in the picture.  The Kaukauna cheese spread (IYKYK) did not have a price, which means I can't afford it.  Even with the conversion rate, the price for that bread and meat is super high.  But with some good old-fashioned budgeting, I plan to treat myself to a few tastes from home as a holiday treat come December!  

Have a great week, and thanks for stopping by!  💞