Skip to main content

"When we know WHY we do what we do everything falls into place; when we don't, we have to push things into place" -Simon Sinek

 The end of the year is, for a lot of people, a time of looking back and looking ahead.  This year, I find myself thinking a lot about both--how the last year has been a year of huge change and transition for me and how the year ahead will be shaped by my journey of service.  

As I finished up my first term of school and I started thinking about what goals I have for the next term, I was brought back to my why.  BTW: if you haven't read Start with Why, I encourage you to pick it up.   Why am I doing this?  One of my whys is simply because the call to service was so loud that I couldn't ignore it.  But another why is that I wanted to challenge myself in new ways while giving and sharing of myself.   It's the why  that helps me get through the hard times.  And as I've talked about, this experience has been hard in a lot of ways.  There were certain things that I knew would be hard--and they have been hard.  Being away from family and friends and familiar culture.  Missing big life events at home--I've had three friends get engaged and one family member pass since I left.   Gonna be honest--it really sucks to be here instead of there for all of those things.  Then there are all the things that are hard as hell that I didn't see coming.  I had no idea that school would be so hard on a physical, mental, and emotional level--and this is coming from someone who is acutely aware of those costs in my usual job.  I really underestimated how deeply I would be challenged as a woman, scientist, and teacher every single day.  

But in the midst of the hard, there has been much good.  The other PCVs who have become so important to me--they are friends for life.  Getting to work with students in this new and challenging way and sharing in their successes.  Living in a beautiful place.  Learning so much about myself--both in terms of my strengths, but also more about my weaknesses.  Being humbled and using that to gain clarity on the things that matter to me and why they matter to me.  I think that I am generally a pretty self-reflective and self-aware person (thank you Alverno, IYKYK), but this experience has really taken it to a whole new level.  In reality, it's probably due not only to the challenges pushing me, but also to the fact that I have SO much time to be self-reflective.  So many gifts, truly.  

I hope that your holiday season is filled with so much joy, love, and peace.  Sending you so much love from St. Lucia, along with a little "year in review" video.  💗💗💗



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

"This wasn't a strange place; it was a new one" -Paulo Coehlo

 Thanks again to everyone who submitted questions.  A couple notes about this video: 1) my voice is a bit scratchy and crackly because there was burning happening when I recorded and the smoke messes with my voice 2) In some of the slides, it sounds like a teapot is whistling--my apologies that was the fan getting picked up by my headphones (its not too loud, I promise) 3) In the slide following my intro, I state that the "ministry of health" was involved when I meant to say "ministry of education" (the error is actually quite obvious, lol)
Post a Comment
Read more

"like butter scraped over too much bread" -JRR Tolkien

  Full quote:  Why, I feel all  thin , sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over  too  much bread. That can't  be  right. I need a change, or something. I can't believe its taken over a year for me to pull out a LOTR reference! 😉  But Bilbo's words ring so true for me these days.  A few weeks ago I posted that I had reached the one year mark--and it has been a hell of a year!  The highs were really high and the lows were low, low, low.  As the school year finally came to a close on Friday, I am feeling like I can really step back and take a breath.  A nice, deep, long breath.   I have hope and excitement around the projects at school next year; but right now I need a break and some quiet, reflective space.  As part of that break, I'm going to put  a pause in the blog until school starts again at the beginning of September.  So until then, I leave you with a pict...
1 comment
Read more

"allow it to end with grace and an open mind for a new day" -Brendon Burchard

 Full quote:  It's official--my close of service (COS) date is July 5, 2025, which means I have less than 6 months left!  I know that a lot of volunteers talk about how hard it is to think about leaving and returning home.  I am definitely not one of these volunteers.  Don't misunderstand me--I am deeply thankful for this experience and I remain glad that I did this.  I have learned so much about so many things, including myself.   But simultaneously, I am feeling very, very ready to be done.  There are a multitude of reasons, most of which are best left unsaid in this forum.   I remain deeply commited to being present and finishing my projects.  There are still roadblocks beyond my control holding up a big part of the library project.  While I really want to see these pieces come to fruition, I've also made peace with the fact that they might not get done before I leave.  It's the reality of the situation and I've do...
Post a Comment
Read more