“Let your curiosity be greater than your fear”. -Pema Chodron
I’ve made it to the last week of my service. Over the last few weeks, I’ve had people in different spaces asking me for my words of wisdom, one piece of advice, lessons learned, etc. In all honesty, I feel like I need time away from here to process and get to a point where I can better articulate any substantive insights. That said, this quote from Pema Chodron has been dancing around in my brain for some time. I am so grateful that I took this journey—even with all of its struggles and challenges. There were many times when I could have given in to fear—of the unknown, of a new place, of a new culture, of my ability to deal with what was in front of me—but I let curiosity guide me rather than the fear. I stand now on the other side filled with thanks, some relief, joy, and excitement. Let me share some of what’s been happening lately in this era of transition…
In May, my entire cohort from across the Eastern Caribbean came back together for our Close of Service (COS). While the actual event itself was pretty terrible, I was so happy to see my friends from the other islands. It was lovely to be together, eat good food, sleep in AC, and say goodbye in person.
School has been pretty quiet the past few weeks. We had exams last week and so now a lot of the kids stop coming to school. I’ve got one last data analysis project to finish and then Im done with everything. A couple weeks ago, the kids gave me a special goodbye assembly. It was very sweet; every grade presented a poem or a song. Here’s grade 2 presenting their poem:
A lot of folks have been asking where I’m living when I return. For the foreseeable future, I’ll be living with generous and amazing friends who have offered me a home while I adjust and get into the swing of things. I feel so lucky to not have to scramble to find somewhere to live amidst trying to acclimate to life back in the States. I have been so fortunate to have the love and support of friends and family throughout this entire journey. Thank you all for walking with me; having you with me has meant more than words can capture. 💓💓💓
Full quote: It's official--my close of service (COS) date is July 5, 2025, which means I have less than 6 months left! I know that a lot of volunteers talk about how hard it is to think about leaving and returning home. I am definitely not one of these volunteers. Don't misunderstand me--I am deeply thankful for this experience and I remain glad that I did this. I have learned so much about so many things, including myself. But simultaneously, I am feeling very, very ready to be done. There are a multitude of reasons, most of which are best left unsaid in this forum. I remain deeply commited to being present and finishing my projects. There are still roadblocks beyond my control holding up a big part of the library project. While I really want to see these pieces come to fruition, I've also made peace with the fact that they might not get done before I leave. It's the reality of the situation and I've do...
I’m writing this on the last day of our spring break. We had two weeks off, and for reasons that are a whole story in and of themselves, I couldn’t travel off island. So here I’ve been—all too aware of the last time I had so much time off of work and how I ended up in a not-so-awesome mental space. But this time was different—I made a very deliberate choice to engage in “conscious escapism”. Usually, escapism is a mechanism to avoid dealing with reality and the feelings associated with reality. Conscious escapism, in contrast, recognizes the feelings and emotions followed by temporary solace in your activities of choice. For me, that has meant that every day I’m still practicing mindfulness and meditation, but then I just sort of “checked out” for the majority of the day by watching telly or reading. I did spend some time working on projects for my return to PLU because I’ve missed that work and it nourishes me in a way that nothing here ...
Safe travels home Amy.
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